I've discussed my issues with 'real mom' and the way she dresses before, yes? And also explained my concerns when it comes to Punk deciding what is appropriate or not appropriate to wear. Okay...
Friday, I go to pick Punk up from school and she talks my ear off as soon as she gets in, as usual. We stop at the gas station to get a treat and while we are there, she tells me, "Look Mommy" and raises her arms, exposing her stomach clear freaking past any point I view as acceptable, "I told my mom when she got my clothes out for school that this shirt was too small and I shouldn't wear it, and she told me it was fine. She told me that it was long enough. But it's not long enough!"
GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First off, I am SOOOO happy that Punk told her mom that. It means that we are getting through to her and she realizes that some things are not okay [and also that she is starting to speak her mind to 'real mom', which is great!]. BUT - I am SO pissed. Beyond belief, steam coming out of my ears, pissed. When your 8-year-old daughter tells you that she should not be wearing something, don't you think you should go ahead and listen? When is it EVER acceptable to make her wear something to school that she is not comfortable in?!? So, not only are you being a not-so-great example to her, but now you are forcing her to wear something she clearly feels is not okay to wear? Even when her arms were down, her shirt was barely resting on the top of her pant line, so the slightest movement totally exposed her stomach. Not to mention how bad it would show when she raises her hand in class, or is playing at recess! GGGGGGGRRRRgggggggggrrrr freaking grr.
Can you tell I'm mad right now? Well, yes. I am mad. Mad, mad, mad, mad, MAD! Augh! I know we are paying her enough every single month in child support to be able to afford an entire new wardrobe every month, and Punk is really small for her size [like, she's still in 7 slim pants and 6x tops] so pretty much anything that fit last school year still fits this school year so there is no excuse for her to not have clothes that fit her properly.
Husband has decided that when this happens, we are going to keep the clothing we don't feel is appropriate and send her home in something that is. More expense on our part, because we never get the clothes back that we send her home in even though 'real mom' throws fits if her clothes don't go back to her house. [We have clothes for her here, and then her mom has clothes for her there. We don't share.] But we're just going to have to deal because I am sickened at the fact that even though Punk did not want to wear it because it showed her tummy, 'real mom' made her wear it.
Yep u sound pretty fired up. Sounds like you have a solution that will work for you. The main thing is that Punk gets it now. You might want to get her a rescue shirt she can leave in her backpack.(ask her if she would like one) You know something basic in white she can keep with her at all times and change when she gets to school if she really feels uncomfortable in what her mom chose. The white will make sure it goes with everything. Just like Punk gets it her mom will eventually get it too at least as far as Punk is concerned. :) Keep your head up!
ReplyDeletePS-I never workout on Sunday but go for it if you do.
Like you said, you're starting to get through to her. She'll get stronger and stronger and probably get to the point where she'll change her outfit by herself, regardless of what her mom thinks.
ReplyDeleteReally that is so frustrating. I don't know how you just don't call 'real mom' up and scream! This sucks!
ReplyDeleteThat would be a pain in my butt...
ReplyDeleteSeriously! I would probably lose it and throat punch real mom. Well if I wasn't such a nice well mannered lady that is. ;-)
I am sorry you have to go through that. I know what you mean, thats why we don't send clothing to the girls moms and the same with my children at their dads. I am glad punk is standing up for herself, I noticed my 8 year old started to stand up for herself the last few years with her dad and it has helped if anything for her to see how he really is. Its sad. But life. Again..good luck and continue being that great example she needs in her life :)
ReplyDeleteGood for hubby that he had insight like that! I'd keep the inappropriate clothes also! Just keep doing what you're doing. I live by the motto that kids, All our kids, may not understand the meaning behind things right now, but eventually they will understand the reasons. I have THE BEST relationship with Starter Husband and so do the kids. BUT, he's the dad that buys anything and everything they want. I'm the mom that makes them clean their room and eat spinach. Eventually, they will understand the value of a dollar (and working for it) AND why I forced them to eat spinach! Punk WILL get it!!!
ReplyDeleteSuper frustrating, but it sounds like you've got a good kid on your hands. Way to teach her what's appropriate!
ReplyDeletewow, i can't believe how rediculous 'real mom' is... if only there was some way you could get through to HER like you have with Punk! i like Steph's idea, the whole throat-punch thing... hahaha.
ReplyDeleteand i reallllllllly like Analisa's advice about the 'rescue shirt' but wish an idea like that wasn't necessary!! maybe if you were to do that, it would give Punk even more confidence to stand up to 'real mom' when she's being stupid and rely even more heavily on you and Husband's example of what is right.
and i'm also soooooooooo glad that Husband seems to be trying to help you out with this and that he sees how bad an influence 'real mom' really is. hopefully if he keeps lending his support on this issue, he will feel more apt to lend support when it comes to discipline and making sure she's doing her chores.
i'm pulling for ya and have my fingers crossed that Punk continues to learn and start making her own decisions. but i'm also glad i'm not in your shoes!! lol.
good luck, doll!
Wow very interesting comments here.Being a Mom and stepmom myself I would say its better to act as a team then against each other. U say PUNK is 8 so there for she is old enough to dress her self so if she was uncomfortable like you say then she could have easily changed her clothes. They always say there are 2 sides to a story did you happen to call her Mom and talk to her and see what the situation was or did you just ASSUME?? You probably shouldnt say all those bad things about a Mom when you really dont know how it is and you dont walk in their shoes. You arent making yourself look like a good example with all the comments you have said as well as the comments the other people have said when they dont even know PUNKS MOM. And Violence too! What would PUNK think and feel if she saw this? Wow great examples. As for PUNKS Dad he should be the one talking to her Mom about it because it is their child and they should talk and deal with things together. Just remember there are 2 sides to every story and everyone here is hearing one side. Wish her Mom could see this to let you in on her side or what the truth could possibly be.
ReplyDeleteWow, is this child's name Punk or are you really that much of a witch?
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you! Step mom's UNITE! - Birth mom to 5 boys- formerly know as step monster to one daughter and mom to another son and living proof that we CAN do it!
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